By Amy Johnson, Esq.
Once you have made the difficult decision that divorce is the appropriate choice for you and your family at this time, you have to face a long process ahead of you. The first step might be the hardest – asking your spouse for a divorce. Your approach to this step can impact the tone of rest of the process, and your future relationship with this person.
If you have children, you will continue to interact with your spouse after your divorce on a regular basis, and your tone in this conversation will impact the tone of those interactions. Neither party should harbor resentment for the other spouse dropping the divorce “bomb.” A more amicable process and resulting relationship is in everyone’s best interests.
The following article offers advice on how to broach the subject: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cheryl-and-joe-dillon/how-to-ask-your-spouse-for-a-divorce_b_7367650.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce
The appropriate tactic in your specific situation depends on the many variables in your relationship, including whether the topic has been discussed before, and how you anticipate your spouse reacting to the news.
Regardless of how much your spouse may be surprised or hurt by the news, you should choose a time and place that allows for a real, honest conversation between the two of you, absent any distractions. But this doesn’t mean that making decisions about dividing assets and splitting parenting time with your kids should be discussed in this initial conversation.
You should spend time preparing what you will say to your spouse and the manner in which you approach the situation, and anticipating how your spouse will react to that. Asking others for help in this delicate situation is always a good idea – ask a therapist or counselor for advice specific to your relationship.
Finally, be sure of yourself. If you have spent the time deciding that divorce is the course you want and need to take, be firm in explaining that to your spouse.
For help starting this conversation and for all of your family law needs, please contact the Domestic Team at Feldmann Nagel Margulis.