By James S. Margulis, Esq.
There are a number of warning signs that your spouse is either having an affair or considering divorce and it may be time to talk with an attorney regarding a potential divorce. Clues that you spouse is having an affair are relatively notorious due to movies and television shows. Typically you see your significant other being cagey about their phone or computer, unusual charges or your bank accounts or credit cards, or your spouse may be travelling for work, etc.
However, clues that your spouse is considering divorce or has already spoken with a divorce attorney are not as dramatized in media or well-known. Typically, there are two main areas of controversy during a divorce proceeding which may begin well before the filing of a Petition for Divorce – no surprise, these areas include money and children.
Financial clues that your spouse is considering a divorce can vary, but typically you will see increased spending, an interest in the family finances, or hiding the family finances. Occasionally, you will start to notice an increase in cash withdraws from bank or savings accounts - this may be a sign that your spouse is stashing money in order to save up for a divorce. It may also be telling if you find your spouse has a new account at a different bank. Also you may notice that your spouse is unwilling to make large financial commitments on a new home, vacation, or car. Your spouse may also become more invested in the family finances, including asking questions about bills when they haven't before or becoming unwilling to share financial information or hindering your access by changing passwords.
Another area where you may notice warning signs or a pending divorce is with your children. For instance, your spouse seems to be more engaged with the children and their activities - such as attending school events, taking them to doctor's appointments, or taking on new duties in the home, such as cooking dinner or getting the children to bed. Another more obvious sign is if your spouse requests one-on-one time with your child without you - this could evidence that your spouse is preparing for a divorce action or custody battle.
While many of these warning signs may also evidence a spouse putting in more effort to a failing relationship, it may also evidence that your spouse has contacted an attorney and is preparing for the filing of a divorce action. If you are concerned that your spouse may be speaking with an attorney or preparing to file divorce, you should contact an attorney immediately to protect yourself and your children.
Please contact the Domestic Team at Feldmann & Nagel, LLC for all of your divorce and family law needs.